Covering the Emotional Wreckage of Sports, One Mascot at a Time
All Stories and the Archive
Every report filed. Every tear documented.
Three Philadelphia mascots were arrested near the Art Museum early Friday. Charges include possession of illegal substances, weapons possession, destruction of public property, and public indecency. They cited Brotherly Love.
Ted Turner's legacy is varied. After his passing, mascots that share a history with him reconcile their differences, regrets, sadness...and hunger?
Six sports mascots arrived uninvited at the 2026 Met Gala. All six were removed from the steps before entering. Statements follow.
The Houston Rockets mascot, named to make Houston forget about Choke City, has printed a new nameplate in the equipment room. It says CRUTCH.
The Rams have selected Lambpage, a 19-month-old mascot out of the Little Rock Lambs of the IFL, as Rampage's long-term successor. Rampage is performing at an extremely high level and appreciates the confidence.
The Penguins are out. Gritty threw him over a railing at least twice during the series. And then came the news about the Emperor Penguins.
Not unlike his struggling team, some minor ailments continue to keep Mr. Met from returning to duty.
The Texas Tech Masked Rider, inspired by Brendan Sorsby's courage, spouts off own addictions from smells to confusing cravings in unnecessary press conference.
The Red Sox fired Alex Cora and five coaches the day of a 17-1 victory. Wally, who has been inside the left field wall since April 7, is not believed to be subject to the personnel changes.
Three of Rocky's cubs are unaccounted for. Crunch has issued a statement. The statement is mostly Jaden McDaniels quotes.
The wife of Mr. Met and co-mascot for the Mets organization was spotted holding hands and canoodling at NYC hotspot less than a week after her husband’s tragic demise.
The Phillies have lost eight straight and are tied for last in the NL East. Their mascot is dealing with this through a daily self-help ritual.
The Knicks' unofficial mascot arrived at MSG loaded with superstitious countermeasures. The Knicks blew a 12-point lead anyway. Cohen was courtside when the Knicks couldn't need him less.
Mr. Met's original head has been ruled a suicide. His body is stable. A new head is being fitted. The Mets have not stopped playing.
The Mets have lost nine straight. We told you it was going to be one of those seasons. We are not going to be the ones to tell you the rest.
The man identified as Duran's heckler at Target Field says he was 'absolutely roided up' at the time but accepts full responsibility. He also said he got them from the bear.
The Wizards mascot was observed cheering for Chicago four times during Washington's 119-108 loss. He claims sportsmanship. The league claims otherwise. The draft order claims nothing, but approves.
The Blue Devil has been located at a roadside bar off I-95, seated across from Shia LaBeouf. The two spent three hours explaining to each other why their greatness goes unappreciated. Neither was listening. Both were in agreement.
The Boston Red Sox mascot, who lived undiscovered inside the Green Monster for years before emerging as the team's public face, has apparently reversed the process. The access door was found latched from the inside.
Forced to mascot through his grief four days after the women's streak ended, Jonathan the Husky wasn't on his game. Michigan won by six. Jonathan blames himself.
The New York Islanders' two mascots have reached an impasse over the firing of Patrick Roy. Sparky is calm about it. Nyisles is not, which is proving to be his entire argument's undoing.
After the UConn women's 54-game winning streak ended Friday at the Final Four in Phoenix, the Husky reportedly spent the night in the tunnel beneath Mortgage Matchup Center and made one phone call. The Blue Devil did not pick up.
Following Italy's third consecutive failure to qualify for the World Cup, the Azzurri's Maremmano-Abruzzese Sheepdog mascot has returned to the mountains. His grandmother is not asking questions. She is just feeding him.
Following UConn's stunning upset of the No. 1 seed Blue Devils in the Elite Eight, the Duke mascot has been out and about Shia LaBeouf style. Authorities in the DC metro area are asking the public for help.
Others have been on this beat longer than we have. Their work stands on its own.
The Cleveland Browns mascot was found in the parking lot of an all-night diner, clutching a rolled-up copy of the team's 2024 schedule. He refused to leave until someone validated his parking.
The New England Patriots mascot has reportedly been unable to update his contacts app for over a year. His last text to Belichick reads: 'hey r u watching the game.' It was never delivered.
The Carolina Panthers mascot has entered what a team spokesperson called 'an understandable period of recalibration,' which is PR-speak for 'he's up there and he won't come down.'
The Philadelphia Flyers mascot has been ordered to attend six sessions of court-mandated emotional regulation therapy. He showed up to all six. He brought snacks. He bit the therapist on the second visit.
The Chicago Bears mascot began therapy in December after the team fired its head coach following a Thanksgiving loss. He has since missed zero sessions, taken up journaling, and cried in a Buffalo Wild Wings twice.
On the home opener of the franchise's first season as the Cleveland Guardians, the retired caricature staged a one-logo protest outside Progressive Field and accused Slider of 'mascot privilege.' Slider had no comment. Slider was inside, doing his job.
