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The Dispatch

New stories about mascots in emotional freefall, delivered directly to your inbox. No fluff. Just grief.


What to expect: When a mascot is spotted ugly-crying at a regional chain restaurant, you'll know about it. When a team's costumed representative is seen purchasing tissues in bulk at a wholesale retailer, we'll be there. This is the newsletter for people who care about the mascots. Someone has to.

We send when there's something worth sending. No weekly quotas. No listicles. Unsubscribe whenever. The mascots will understand.