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Mr. Met is recovering at Mount Sinai. Mrs. Met was seen at Carbone on Friday. ◆ Gritty's anger management certificate is misspelled. He is proud of it. ◆ The Phillie Phanatic's 7 a.m. affirmation ended fourteen seconds early. He did not address it. ◆ Wally the Green Monster has gone back inside the wall. The door is latched from the inside. ◆ Spike Lee has retained a second numerologist. The Knicks lost by one. ◆ Sir Purr has not come down from his cat tree. The Panthers have not asked him to. ◆ TC Bear was spotted outside a pharmacy. He said it was for a friend. ◆ Chief Wahoo has re-branded his argument to the "Me as Well Movement" ◆ Italy's puppy mascot has gone home to Abruzzo. He is not taking calls. ◆

merch & sundries

The Sad Mascots Shop

Embroidered Flat Bill Cap $29.99

Raglan Shirt (Light) $29.99

Mug $9.99

T-Shirt (Dark) $19.99

Pet Bandana Collar $26.99

Hoodie (Dark) $34.99

Hoodie (Light) $34.99

Raglan Shirt (Dark) $29.99

T-Shirt (Light) $19.99

Kiss-Cut Vinyl Decal Sticker $3.99

Sad Mascots is a satirical publication. All merchandise is real, however, and will actually be shipped to you. The mascots depicted have not endorsed these products but probably would, given their current emotional state.