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Mr. Met is recovering at Mount Sinai. Mrs. Met was seen at Carbone on Friday. ◆ Gritty's anger management certificate is misspelled. He is proud of it. ◆ The Phillie Phanatic's 7 a.m. affirmation ended fourteen seconds early. He did not address it. ◆ Wally the Green Monster has gone back inside the wall. The door is latched from the inside. ◆ Spike Lee has retained a second numerologist. The Knicks lost by one. ◆ Sir Purr has not come down from his cat tree. The Panthers have not asked him to. ◆ TC Bear was spotted outside a pharmacy. He said it was for a friend. ◆ Chief Wahoo has re-branded his argument to the "Me as Well Movement" ◆ Italy's puppy mascot has gone home to Abruzzo. He is not taking calls. ◆

NCAA Basketball Duke Blue Devils

Wellness Update: The Blue Devil and Shia LaBeouf Have Found Each Other

The Blue Devil has been located at a roadside bar off I-95, seated across from Shia LaBeouf. The two spent three hours explaining to each other why their greatness goes unappreciated. Neither was listening. Both were in agreement.

April 8, 2026 re: Blue Devil updated April 8, 2026 😭😭😭 crisis level

⚠ WELLNESS CHECK REQUIRED. The mascot discussed in this story is experiencing a level of sadness that exceeds normal post-season melancholy. If you know this mascot, please reach out. A text. A wave. Anything.

RICHMOND, VA — The Blue Devil was spotted Tuesday evening at a roadside bar off I-95, seated across from actor Shia LaBeouf, who was in the area for reasons that have not been explained. The two spent approximately three hours at a corner booth, taking turns explaining to each other why they are not appreciated the way they should be.

Neither appeared to be listening to the other. Both appeared to be in agreement.

LaBeouf’s publicist did not respond to a request for comment. The Duke Athletics tip line remains active.

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