Clutch, Now Going by Crutch
The Houston Rockets mascot, named to make Houston forget about Choke City, has printed a new nameplate in the equipment room. It says CRUTCH.
HOUSTON — Clutch, mascot of the defeated Houston Rockets, has changed his name. Not officially. He printed a label on the Dymo label maker in the equipment room, pressed it over his nameplate on the locker at Toyota Center.
The label reads CRUTCH. He is unreachable for comment or explanation.
A Houston Chronicle headline once called Houston “Choke City” — after the Rockets blew a 20-point playoff lead. The team came back and won the championship. They called themselves Clutch City. The Rocket Bear was introduced in March 1995 to embody that.
That was thirty-one years ago.
The Rockets lost in six games to a Lakers team starting Marcus Smart, Luke Kennard, Rui Hachimura, DeAndre Ayton, and a forty-one-year-old LeBron James. A blown six-point lead in the final 30 seconds of Game 3 resulted in an outburst from Rockets’ head coach Ime Udoka. “Grow up!” he told his players.
Clutch, or Crutch, known to be a sensitive and empathetic bear, absorbed this anger and frustration in full according to fellow mascots close to him.
He is reportedly carrying Kevin Durant’s (allegedly @getoffmydickerson’s) leaked DMs, printed out, folded into his jacket pocket. Not to show anyone. A source close to Clutch told us, “Man, that bear misses James (Harden), too. He’s havin’ a hard time right now.”
A ball boy started crying in the hallway after the elimination. Crutch walked him to the concession stand, bought him a hot dog, and waited. Then he went back to his locker.
He has not eaten.
Photo: Pkantz / Wikimedia Commons · CC BY-SA 3.0
Correction: A previous version of this article referred to @getoffmydickerson as Kevin Durant’s confirmed alternate account. The handle surfaced as an allegation in February 2026 and was never confirmed by Durant or any credible source. We here at Sad Mascots choose to believe this is more than just an alleged handle, but ya know, journalistic integrity and all.
