please read
these mascots
are not ok.
someone
should
check on them.
are not ok.
someone
should
check on them.
dispatches from the sideline Sad Mascots
Covering the Emotional Wreckage of American Sports, One Mascot at a Time
Covering the Emotional Wreckage of American Sports, One Mascot at a Time
Following UConn's stunning upset of the No. 1 seed Blue Devils in the Elite Eight, the Duke mascot has been out and about Shia LaBeouf style. Authorities in the DC metro area are asking the public for help.
Others have been on this beat longer than we have. Their work stands on its own.
The Cleveland Browns mascot was found in the parking lot of an all-night diner, clutching a rolled-up copy of the team's 2024 schedule. He refused to leave until someone validated his parking.
The New England Patriots mascot has reportedly been unable to update his contacts app for over a year. His last text to Belichick reads: 'hey r u watching the game.' It was never delivered.
The Carolina Panthers mascot has entered what a team spokesperson called 'an understandable period of recalibration,' which is PR-speak for 'he's up there and he won't come down.'