PHILADELPHIA, PA — Gritty, the Philadelphia Flyers mascot and unofficial patron saint of pure unhinged energy, has completed the six-session anger management course he was ordered to attend after what team officials are calling “the third equipment room incident of the season,” and what Gritty himself is calling “an honest reaction to the power play statistics.”

He received a certificate of completion. His name is spelled wrong on it — it says “Griity” with two i’s. He has it hung on his wall. He is proud of it.

“This was a growth experience,” Gritty told a pool reporter following the final session, while eating what appeared to be an entire bag of Cheez-Its in the manner of a person who has earned them. “I feel more in touch with my feelings. More regulated. More aware of how my behavior affects others.”

He then knocked over a rack of hockey sticks while making direct eye contact with no one in particular.

“Oops,” he said, without breaking stride.

The Incidents

The Flyers, to their credit, have been in a rebuild for what franchise documents describe as “several years” and what fans describe as “my entire adult life, seemingly.” The team has missed the playoffs in five of the last six seasons. Their last postseason win was in 2012. This is a fact that the organization prefers not to discuss at length, and that Gritty is physically incapable of not discussing at length, usually through the medium of property destruction.

The first equipment room incident, in October, was attributed to stress following a 7-2 loss to the Toronto Maple Leafs in which the Flyers did not register a single shot on goal for an entire period. Witnesses described Gritty entering the equipment room following the final buzzer, remaining inside for seven minutes, and emerging having reorganized every piece of gear in there by color and then immediately knocking all of it over.

The second incident, in January, remains officially “under investigation” but involved a Zamboni, a box of promotional rally towels, and a level of screaming that the Wells Fargo Center’s soundproofing was not designed to handle.

The third incident is being described only as “significant” and “related to the penalty kill efficiency numbers.” The cleanup reportedly took two days.

Therapy: A Report

Dr. Michael Santana, the therapist assigned to Gritty’s anger management sessions, agreed to speak with this publication under the condition that we describe him only as “a certified professional who has worked with athletes before, but not like this.”

Session one, Dr. Santana reports, went well. Gritty listened attentively, engaged with the breathing exercises, and left a five-star Google review for the practice that read: “Very professional. Clean waiting room. Helped me understand that anger is just sadness that got its skates on.” This is, Dr. Santana noted, not a phrase he used. He does not know where Gritty got it.

Session two: Gritty arrived with a fruit platter, which was thoughtful. He bit Dr. Santana on the shoulder during a role-playing exercise designed to simulate postgame press conference situations. Dr. Santana describes the bite as “not aggressive, more curious, the way a large and confused animal might investigate something it doesn’t fully understand.” He took three days off following the session. He came back.

Sessions three through six were described as “productive” and “increasingly peaceful” and “characterized by Gritty sitting quietly and staring at a list of coping strategies as though he was reading them for the first time every single session, because he was.”

Dr. Santana’s final notes include the observation that Gritty “demonstrates genuine emotional insight when cornered but operates primarily on instinct,” and that “he seems to understand, on some level, that the Flyers’ rebuild is progressing and that patience is required,” and that “he will require continued monitoring.”

The Rebuild, Assessed

The Flyers do have prospects. There is a pipeline. Young players are developing. The organizational messaging has been consistent and the front office has been deliberate about not accelerating a rebuild before it’s ready.

When you say all of this to Gritty, he makes a sound that is hard to transcribe but functions emotionally somewhere between a sigh and a scream.

“I know,” he said, when pressed for a more articulable response. “I know all of that. I’ve been hearing all of that.”

He looked down.

“It’s just — and I mean this — it’s a lot of years to hear all of that.”

He picked up a foam hockey puck. Squeezed it.

Did not throw it.

Growth.

The certificate of completion lists six competencies Gritty has demonstrated: Active Listening, De-escalation Awareness, Breathing Techniques, Identifying Triggers, Constructive Redirection, and The Box Method of Emotional Containment.

He reportedly uses none of them when the Flyers are on a four-game losing streak.

He reportedly uses all of them when they win.

They have been winning a little more lately.

Don’t tell him we said that. He’ll hex it.